The Power of the Other: The startling effect other people have on you, from the boardroom to the bedroom and beyond-and what to do about it

by Henry Cloud

At some point, for most people, Corner One gives way to Corner Number Two: the Bad Connection. It is as if the connecting chip makes a calculation that a bad relationship is better than no relationship at all. It’s not a conscious move, mind you. I mean, who would actively seek out a bad connection? But it seems to happen more than any of us want to admit. Corner Number Two, the Bad Connection, is not necessarily a connection with a bad or abusive person, although it may be. Instead, it is a connection, preoccupation, or pull toward a person who has the effect of making you feel bad or “not good enough” in some way. Inferior. Defective perhaps. As though something is wrong with you. Somehow this person or persons have come to have the power in your life of making you feel bad.