The Power of the Other: The startling effect other people have on you, from the boardroom to the bedroom and beyond-and what to do about it

by Henry Cloud

talking about other character traits beyond honesty and ethics: Optimist or pessimist? Proactive or passive? Does she persevere and solve problems when things get difficult? Is he too soft for what you need? Too hard? Too rigid? Too impulsive? Too paralyzed by fear of failure? Compassionate? Kind? Brittle? Fun? Resilient? Forgiving? We could go on and on. But consider this. An individual could have everything we have discussed so far about trust. He or she could be understanding, have good motives, have high ability, and still lack an essential character trait that is needed in your context before you can trust. For instance, what if it’s someone who needs a lot of validation and positive feedback, and yet you’re going to ask him to take over a failing entity and turn it around? There is not going to be a lot of good news for quite a while. If someone thrives only on positive results, he might not have the staying power for a turnaround. He’s a good person, but his character (not moral, but how he is put together) isn’t a good fit for this particular job. The higher you go in organizations, the more important questions of character and emotional intelligence become.