The Power of the Other: The startling effect other people have on you, from the boardroom to the bedroom and beyond-and what to do about it

by Henry Cloud

Early in life, we don’t get to choose what kinds of relationships we’re exposed to or which of those voices start replaying in our heads. But as we mature and recognize that we might be hitting a limit, we have the opportunity to choose what kinds of relationships we want to participate in, what kinds of voices to internalize in order to stretch further and reach higher. Fortunately, neuroscience research shows that we can rewire our brains—literally. Just because you had voices that diminished you doesn’t mean you can’t get new ones. Your brain is available for downloads and updates to its software, but just like your cell phone, it has to be plugged into a good network, with unlimited data and no viruses.