The Power of the Other: The startling effect other people have on you, from the boardroom to the bedroom and beyond-and what to do about it

by Henry Cloud

Where I want to be versus where I am. Here is the bottom line: high performers resolve that tension in very, very different ways than the people they consistently outperform. In what way? Basically this: they are fueled by the possibility of better instead of defeated by it. When confronted with failure, they are inspired to keep trying; they don’t judge themselves for missing the mark. Their desire and drive are not minimized or crushed by failing. That is the difference in their performance. Again, though, it’s not just a matter of individual willpower. Research confirms that it is “otherpower,” if you will, that helps us to experience failure as a means for improvement, as an opportunity for better.