Ego Is the Enemy

by Ryan Holiday

The ego we see most commonly goes by a more casual definition: an unhealthy belief in our own importance. Arrogance. Self-centered ambition.

Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know. —LAO TZU

So what is scarce and rare? Silence. The ability to deliberately keep yourself out of the conversation and subsist without its validation. Silence is the respite of the confident and the strong.

We talk to fill the void and the uncertainty. “Void,” Marlon Brando, a quiet actor if there ever was one, once said, “is terrifying to most people.”

the greatest work and art comes from wrestling with the void, facing it instead of scrambling to make it go away.

The only relationship between work and chatter is that one kills the other.

Plug that hole—that one, right in the middle of your face—that can drain you of your vital life force. Watch what happens. Watch how much better you get.

The pretense of knowledge is our most dangerous vice, because it prevents us from getting any better. Studious self-assessment is the antidote.

“When student is ready, the teacher appears.”

What humans require in our ascent is purpose and realism. Purpose, you could say, is like passion with boundaries. Realism is detachment and perspective.

The critical work that you want to do will require your deliberation and consideration. Not passion. Not naïveté.

We see it in recent lawsuits in which interns sue their employers for pay. We see kids more willing to live at home with their parents than to submit to something they’re “overqualified” to work for. We see it in an inability to meet anyone else on their terms, an unwillingness to take a step back in order to potentially take several steps forward. I will not let them get one over on me. I’d rather we both have nothing instead.

It’s about providing the support so that others can be good.

The better wording for the advice is this: Find canvases for other people to paint on.

Clear the path for the people above you and you will eventually creat...

When you are just starting out, we can be sure of a few fundamental realities: 1) You’re not nearly as good or as important as you think you are; 2) You have an attitude that needs to be readjusted; 3) Most of what you think you know or most o...

“Say little, do much.”

Be lesser, do more.

That’s what the canvas strategy is about—helping yourself by helping others. Making a concerted effort to trade your short-term gratification for a longer-term payoff.

Whereas everyone else wants to get credit and be “respected,” you can forget credit. You can forget it so hard that you’re glad when others get it instead of you—that was your aim, after all. Let the others take their credit on credit, while you defer and earn interest on the principal.

the person who clears the path ultimately controls its direction, just as the canvas shapes the painting.

Those who have subdued their ego understand that it doesn’t degrade you when others treat you poorly; it degrades them.

“I am going to be myself, the best version of that self. I am in this for the long game, no matter how brutal it might be.” To do, not be.

Instead of pretending that we are living some great story, we must remain focused on the execution—and on executing with excellence.

This is especially true with money. If you don’t know how much you need, the default easily becomes: more. And so without thinking, critical energy is diverted from a person’s calling and toward filling a bank account.

Life requires those trade-offs, but ego can’t allow it.

So why do you do what you do?

The more you have and do, the harder maintaining fidelity to your purpose will be, but the more critically you will need to.

With success, particularly power, come some of the greatest and most dangerous delusions: entitlement, control, and paranoia.

“undisciplined pursuit of more,”