The Art of Letting Go

by Rania Naim

There is power in letting go, a power that brings more peace and serenity than being stuck in situations that make your heart a bit heavier each and every day.

See it for what is, not what you want it to be. —Anonymous

Forgive yourself enough to let go

I’ve learned that no matter how long you’ve been together – when you know, you know. It’s entirely possible to be with someone for five years, yet still not be right for each other permanently.

2. You don’t meet people by accident, and that each person who crosses your path brings life lessons to you that God knew you needed. Everyone you meet makes you stronger, and makes you look at life just a little different than you did before.

Thank you for not only falling short of my expectations, but for giving me new reasons to have higher ones. Thank you for personifying every person’s nightmare in a relationship: For the cheating, lying, emotional abuse, and indifference. Thank you for giving me those experiences, only because they allowed me to determine what my lines were, and when you crossed them. I am indebted to your actions – they made my skin so thick, that you can’t even see the blood course through my veins anymore. Yet, I am still alive. I’m not trying to say you were all bad. Truthfully, you had good aspects – that’s why we dated, ex-boyfriends. But they were not enough to keep us together. They could not satiate me and my need to be respected, appreciated, or valued. And the sole reason for that is simple: I respect, appreciate, and value myself far too much to have stayed. Thank you for letting me go,

Your indifference taught me that I could not be indifferent to my own needs, ex-boyfriends. And that is a powerful lesson that I might not have learned had you not been so dismissive of me. Your emotional abuse and manipulative tactics taught me I could not tolerate being disrespected. I give respect, and I deserve it back

You also have to process the situation, you need to digest, you need to feel, you need to make peace, you need to get in touch with your inner strength, and you need to move on as a better, stronger person

What I did was obsess and replay everything that happened and what I wish I had done differently. Then I got lost in an endless array of distractions. I was going, going going, keeping myself busy so I wouldn’t have to feel anything.

Maybe you made mistakes, maybe you wish you could have done something different, but chances are this isn’t the reason the relationship ended. (Unless you did something like cheat, in which case, it probably was something you did!)

Sometimes it can almost feel like a death when someone who was once so much a part of your life is now no longer in it, and that is very sad, even if you realize that this wasn’t the right relationship for you. Give yourself time to grieve and be kind and gentle to yourself. Don’t get mad at yourself for feeling what you’re feeling; accept it as a part of the process. But don’t let this drag on for too long. Life must go on and you’ll never move forward if you keep mourning this loss.

3. Write Him A Letter You Don’t Send

Maybe there’s a quiet, unspoken part of us that craves that possibility more than its realization. Maybe we thrive on those maybes and those somedays more than we care to admit. Maybe we need to leave some doors open and some chapters unwritten. Maybe it’s those maybes that keep us alive.

That no matter how far we run or stray or falter, a different version of ourselves lives on inside of every person we have ever fallen half in love with. And we like having those versions to run back to. We like to keep them alive inside each other, in case we ever need to return to them.

This is me knowing that we don’t get a do-over – not on the last night I spent asleep beside you or the last time I told you I loved you or the first moment I felt us start to drift apart. I know we don’t always get second chances. I know I do not get to go back in time and kiss you slower, love you stronger, linger five extra minutes in bed every morning that I woke up beside you. This is me knowing that I can’t rewind history and ask you what was wrong each evening that you came home with a puzzle in your eyes but no answer on your lips. This is me knowing we don’t get to go back.

So this is me unclasping my fingers.

my final gift to you. This is me letting you go.

I hope that you do not let the world condemn you for being too loud, too expressive, too soft; that you do not let it convince you to be perfect instead of real.

the struggles we face, do more than give us grief and great stories – they temper the soul.

To my sweetheart, my teacher, and kindred spirit. What a senseless fool I have been and how ashamed I am for allowing you to slip away, for letting my past stand in the way of something so extraordinary, present and sincere.

Rather, I am writing you because anything else would be insincere. I am writing you because I adore you and nothing can be done about it. I am writing you because there are things that must be said and I can think of nothing else but you.

You didn’t love her, you just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn’t love her, because you don’t destroy the person that you love.—Shonda Rhimes

Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.—Ann Landers

She’s not going to let go until she sees for herself that there’s nothing left to hold on to.—Susane Colasanti