Lodestar (Keeper of the Lost Cities, #5)

by Shannon Messenger

“Worst idea ever. Playing both sides never works. Sooner or later they’re going to make you commit.” Keefe shifted in his seat. “I realize that what I’m doing is risky—” “And stupid,” Sophie added. “And dangerous. And—” “I still have to do it. And it’ll be fine. It’s all about keeping the right balance.” “There’s no balance when it comes to the bad guys, Keefe. They’re bad. It’s that simple.” “You and I both know it’s never simple. In fact, I seem to remember you telling me that the villains are never all bad.” “I didn’t say that because I wanted you to join them! I said that’s what makes them so scary!”

“I know. But . . . I have a plan. I have to stick to it.”

“I . . . don’t matter.” And there it was. Keefe’s guilt. The most dangerous emotion an elf could feel.

“There’s always a choice, Keefe.” “Yeah—I’m going to find a way to end this on my terms. That’s my choice.”

“I know this is all very overwhelming,” Magnate Leto said. “But that’s only because you’re trying to interpret Mr. Sencen’s actions with your head. You have a very good head, Miss Foster. Very logical and clever and strong. But do you know what’s even more powerful?” He pointed to her heart. “Which means what?” Grady asked. “We’re relying on teenage feelings?” “I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss them.

I really hope you know what you’re doing. I do. I can’t promise I won’t have to be a part of some more shady things. But I know where the hard lines are, and I won’t cross them.

I need you to promise that if this gets too tough, you’ll walk away. No matter how close you are to what you’re trying to learn. Edaline had once made Sophie give her a similar promise, after admitting she should’ve said the same thing to Jolie. It’s not going to come down to that. Then promise me anyway. Endless seconds slipped by before he told her, Okay, fine, I promise. Now get out of my head, Miss F. I need my beauty sleep.

So . . . now I try to be the person Bronte thinks I am. Which is why I’m not ready to give up on Keefe. Not yet. I guess that makes sense. But— I’m not trying to change how you feel. In fact, maybe it’s better this way. I’ll be the believer and you can be the skeptic and we’ll keep each other in check—but that only works if you’re honest with me and actually talk about stuff. He sighed. There you go being all practical and wise.

Hey, one of us has to be.

“I don’t doubt that Mr. Sencen left with good intentions—but we can’t ignore the possibility that he might become corrupted. He’s immersed in the Neverseen’s world—training in their methods, being exposed to their teachings and theories. There’s no telling how that might influence him.”

“And you think that’s the same as joining the enemy?” Tam asked. “No, I think it means we shouldn’t pass judgment until we see how things play out. Actions never tell the whole story. Good can be done for the wrong reason. And bad can be misunderstood.”

“Well,” she said, hoping he could feel the massive waves of disgust she was sending his way, “some things give me a stronger reaction than others.” Abuse came in all forms—and while Lord Cassius had never hit his son, his constant belittling criticism had done plenty of damage.

there is nothing quite so terrifying as putting your life in the hands of a distracted human who’s operating a piece of deadly machinery they only marginally understand and can hardly control. It’s a wonder any of them survive the process.”

“How you holding up?” Fitz asked Sophie as she checked her blank Imparter again. “Oh . . . you know. People I care about are in danger, and none of the adults want my help. Same old, same old.” “Right there with you,” he mumbled.

“Safety is an illusion. It exists only when we, as a society, agree to enforce it. But theoretically, any situation could turn violent if someone decided to treat it that way. During my time with humans, I witnessed many horrors that were the result of one individual—or a small group—choosing to violate the trust we all put in each other. The time is coming when we as a species will have to decide if we’re going to stray down the same dark path.

When rulers stop trusting their citizens, freedom is always the cost. And I can think of several Councillors who will see what happened to Wylie as proof that control is the answer.”

“And what do you see as the answer?” Sophie asked. Oralie sighed. “I honestly don’t know. But . . . I think it starts with people like you. People asking hard questions and taking risks and never letting anything stop them—not because they want power or glory. Because they know it’s the right thing to do.”

“What do you think is in there?” “No idea. But nothing good ever comes from my mom.” “One thing did,” she said. “One of my favorite things.”

What kind of loser goes along with something like that without demanding answers?” “A boy who’s been bullied and manipulated his entire life. That’s how verbal abuse works. It drains you bit by bit, until there’s not enough energy left to keep fighting.” “Yeah, well, I also knew she was erasing the memory—did you catch that at the end? I was nine when that happened. I definitely knew what Washers were by then. I knew what was going to happen. And I didn’t stop it because I wanted to forget. I chose to be oblivious.”

Both of the twins had melted their registry necklaces and dipped their hair in the molten metal as proof that they didn’t need the family that left them to fend for themselves.

“Children are supposed to respect their parents,” he said quietly. Linh pulled Tam away. “Respect has to be earned.”

Sophie lowered her eyes. “Sorry if I shouldn’t have interfered.” “No—you absolutely should have,” Tam said. Linh nodded. “The look on my father’s face—that was the greatest gift you ever could’ve given me.”

Linh nodded. “First time I’ve ever been glad to hold so much power. And you’ll do far greater things with yours,” she told Sophie. Sophie thanked her, not sure why she felt so . . . ruffled. This definitely wasn’t the first time she’d discovered that her mental powers were a little too close to the scary side of the line. But something about this skill felt wrong—like the elves were setting aside everything they’d believed in and going darker. And there she was: the poster child for the New Darkness.

“Wait, you told your mom?” Stina interrupted. “You promised you wouldn’t tell anyone!” “That was before I knew what the secret was,” Maruca told her. “I can’t hide this from my family—no matter what I said.” She had a point. Some problems were too important to worry about breaking promises.

And speaking of which”— he stalked closer to Stina— “in the future, I hope you’ll pay more respect to your father’s privacy. Overhearing something does not give you the right to repeat it to others.” To her credit, Stina kept her head held high as she told him. “Maruca needed to know.” “Then you should’ve informed your father and let him handle the matter through proper channels. We are an order, Miss Heks, and there are rules and protocols that must be followed.” “Is that what you say to Sophie?” Stina snapped back. “Miss Foster has received her fair share of lectures. She’s also a very special circumstance, so I would not make the mistake of putting you—or your father—in the same category.

“So you’re asking me to send my wife and daughter into fraught treaty negotiations?” Grady asked. “Actually, I’m asking Sophie and Edaline if they’d be willing to participate in a world-changing event, which will have more security than anyone could ever imagine,” Oralie corrected. “And they will be the ones deciding if they will accept.”

But I do hope you won’t go too hard on Sophie. She was perfectly safe in my castle. And she was wise to come to me.” Grady didn’t agree.

“I came here to thank you.” “You’re right. That wasn’t what I was expecting.” Tiny smile lines crinkled around his eyes. “I’m not saying I want you kids regularly disobeying my advice or sneaking away without your bodyguards—and just because everything worked out this time doesn’t mean you should feel free to act on such whims whenever you feel them. But . . . in this case, you made the right decision.”

Mr. Forkle smiled. “And thus we have the cost of rebellion. Being right doesn’t spare the consequences of breaking rules. But I’m happy to know you’re ready to stand up for your convictions.”

“I still can’t believe you’re doing that without me—what’s the point of being Cognates if they don’t let us work together?” “It’s almost as ridiculous as assigning her a bodyguard and then not allowing him to accompany her on dangerous missions,” Sandor shouted from the hallway.

Think it’ll work?” “I think . . . you’re a genius.” Fitz’s grin curled wider at that, and his eyes sparked with that same hint of heat, making Sophie’s cheeks blush again. “Not a genius,” he said, tracing his fingers over his Cognate rings. “But we make a great team. Don’t we?” Sophie nodded. “The best.”

“How do we decide who goes?” Fitz asked. Of course everyone nominated themselves—and the adults did their usual adult thing and tried to claim it should be them instead of “children.”

You’re really going to blindly follow a random beam of light, knowing full well it could leap you into a room full of killers?” “It’s not even the scariest thing we’ve done,” Fitz told her. Mr. Forkle sighed.

Your own abilities will remain unaffected. But those around you will become stronger, which is an advantage—especially since you’ve chosen to surround yourself with a group of incredibly talented friends. Imagine how much more they could accomplish if you enhanced their power. The downside is, you could do the same for your enemies.”

“I wish I could take credit. But my ability made the shift unconsciously.” “Intelligent, talented, and humble—I see why I hear often of your influence,” the Empress said, before turning to Oralie.

“After his involvement in what happened with Brielle?” “It’s because of his involvement in Brielle’s death that I would like to hear him out. I’d like to understand what her life was taken for.” “None of us are saying we’ll agree with his logic,” King Enki added. “We’d simply like to hear what that logic is. Isn’t it our responsibility to consider the issues from every possible side before we render a decision?”

When she’d told Oralie her theory, the pink-cheeked Councillor had blanched and made Sophie promise not to tell anyone. But Sophie would always share things with her friends.