We tend to think we know someone when we’ve interacted with him a lot and formulated a theory about “how he is.” Howard is a pushover. Ashley is always late. Jenny can’t control her temper. Luke is a really nice guy. This kind of false knowing will not generate closeness. It’s false because an objective, omniscient picture of “how Jenny is” doesn’t exist (or if it does exist, it’s unknowable to any of us). We only have our experience of how Jenny is. When you tell the tale of how another person is from your perspective, you’re making him or her into a character, a player in your own life
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