In order to create the fantasy bond the child has to idealize his parents and make himself “bad.” The purpose of fantasy bonding is survival. The child desperately relies on his parents. They can’t be bad. If they are bad or sick, he can’t survive. So the fantasy bond (which makes them good and the child bad) is like a mirage in the desert. It gives the child the illusion there is nourishment and support in his life.
