The parenting rules used in most Western world families create massive shame. Add alcoholism, incest and physical abuse to these systems, and you get major dysfunctionality. Alice Miller has summed up these rules under the title “Poisonous Pedagogy” in her book For Your Own Good. These rules state: 1. Adults are the masters of the dependent child. 2. They determine in godlike fashion what is right and what is wrong. 3. The child is held responsible for the parents’ anger. 4. The parents must always be shielded. 5. The child’s life-affirming feelings pose a threat to the autocratic adult. 6.
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