In school we were compared to the perfect mark. As we failed to make that mark, we were graded on a descending scale, the lowest mark being an F. Think for a moment of the symbolism of the F as a mark. It is associated in mental imagery with the F word. When a child becomes a failure in school, it’s not long before there is an association with being a failure as a person—a fuck-up. Children get this association very quickly in school. They also associate “bad” grades with being a bad or defective person. And most often the children who are failing are already shame-based when they come to
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