We need to control because our toxic shame drives us outside ourselves. We objectify ourselves and experience ourselves as lacking and defective. Therefore, we must move out of our own house. The striving for power flows from the need to control. Achieving power is a direct attempt to compensate for the sense of being defective. When one has power over others, one becomes less vulnerable to being shamed. Power seeking often becomes a total dedication and life task. In its most neurotic form it is an out-and-out addiction. Individuals spend all their energies planning, scheming, gaming and
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