But What If We're Wrong?: Thinking about the Present as If It Were the Past

by Chuck Klosterman

It is impossible to examine questions we refuse to ask. These are the big potatoes.

Taste is subjective, but some subjective opinions are casually expressed the same way we articulate principles of math or science.

A century after his death, Melville gets his own extinct super-whale named after him, in tribute to a book that commercially tanked. That’s an interesting kind of career.

We have no idea what we don’t know, or what we’ll eventually learn, or what might be true despite our perpetual inability to comprehend what that truth is.

Language is more durable than content. Words outlive their definitions.

The reason something becomes retrospectively significant in a far-flung future is detached from the reason it was significant at the time of its creation—and that’s almost always due to a recalibration of social ideologies that future generations will accept as normative.

It’s a reasonable conclusion to draw from the facts that presently exist, but the future is a teenage crackhead who makes shit up as he goes along.

The reason so many well-considered ideas appear laughable in retrospect is that people involuntarily assume that whatever we believe and prioritize now will continue to be believed and prioritized later, even though that almost never happens.

They are what I call “vocally unrated”: A large amount of critical thought is directed toward explaining how these types of novels are not worth thinking about.

The world happens as it happens, but we construct what we remember and what we forget. And people will eventually do that to us, too.

“Rock” can now signify anything, so it really signifies nothing; it’s more present, but less essential.

To matter forever, you need to matter to those who don’t care. And if that strikes you as sad, be sad.

Metaphoric sheep get no love. There’s no worse thing to be compared to, at least among conspiracy theorists. “You’re just a sheep,” they will say. “You believe what they want you to believe.” But this implies that they—the metaphoric shepherds—have something they want you to accept. It implies that these world-altering shepherds are consciously leading their sheeple to a conclusion that plays to their benefit. No one considers the possibility of a shepherd just aimlessly walking around the meadow, pointing his staff in whatever direction he happens to be facing.

Something becomes truly popular when it becomes interesting to those who don’t particularly care.

Sixteen years ago, it was reasonable to believe there was no meaningful difference between Democratic leadership and Republican leadership. That ended up being wrong. But did it become wrong, or was it already wrong in 1999?

Criticizing the Constitution is a little like criticizing a war hero—you always need to open with a compliment.

I realize certain modes of thinking can become outdated. But outdated modes are essential to understanding outdated times, which are the only times that exist.

It’s way beyond “You’re Doing It Wrong.” It’s more like “How the Fuck Can You Not See That Tobias Harris Is More Efficient Than Carmelo Anthony You Illiterate Fucking Moron Who Is So Obviously Doing It Wrong.” There’s simply no prick like a math prick in a sports bar.

The problem with sports analytics is not that they are flawed; the problem is that they are accurate, to the benefit of almost no one. It’s being right for the sake of being right, in a context where there was never any downside to being wrong.

It’s good to view reality as beyond our understanding, because it is. And it’s exciting to imagine the prospect of a reality that cannot be imagined, because that’s as close to pansophical omniscience as we will ever come. If you aspire to be truly open-minded, you can’t just try to see the other side of an argument. That’s not enough. You have to go all the way.

I’m ready for a new tomorrow, but only if it’s pretty much like yesterday.

I sometimes think I should have titled this book Aristotle: The Genius Who Was Wrong About Fucking Everything.