It’s called diffuse physiological arousal (DPA), and in our study of more than 3,000 couples, we found that it is impossible to communicate when in this physiologically aroused state. You know you are flooded if your heart rate is over 100 beats per minute (or 80, if you are in great physical shape). That’s the point at which you start secreting adrenaline and launch into DPA. In DPA, you lose access to your sense of humor, cannot listen very well (hearing and peripheral vision are compromised), and tend to repeat yourself (which we call “the summarizing yourself syndrome”). None of these are
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