If some part of you is screaming, “If I do this, she will roll right over me—she’ll win!” remember that attuning with how she feels doesn’t mean that you agree with everything that she says, just that you hear her—that you “get it.” And we promise that if you do this first, your discussion about how you might solve the conflict between you will go much better (see Chapter 10). You will have less fighting and more sex. Because instead of being simply pissed off at you, she will feel safe and heard, and therefore interested in and willing to solve the problem between you so you can get on with
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