The Poems of Catullus

by Catullus

But from you and your penis, that’s what I fear, A danger to good boys and bad alike.

But indeed we are all fools, for you could see a bit of Suffenus In us all: each of us has been assigned his own fault, We just don’t see the baggage on our own back.

Boy, server of vintage Falernian, Pour me stronger cups As the law of our hostess Postumia dictates, Drunker than a drunken grape. And you, water, spoiler of wine, away from here S’il vous plaît. Off you pop to the dour kind. Here is Bacchus’ wine, neat.

am going to make love to you, my sweet Ipsitilla, My darling, my charming creature, Invite me to your home for a midday favour. And if you do, help me out: Let no one bolt the door And don’t be tempted to go out, But stay home and make ready for us And nine consecutive fucks. And if you decide yes, please invite me at once, For I have eaten and lie here supine and sated – I poke through my tunic and cloak.

You think you are the only ones with cocks, The only ones entitled to fuck this girl or that And to think the rest of us billy goats?

This bedspread, Embroidered with the shapes of men Who lived long ago, unveils the virtues of heroes Through the miracle of art.

May no woman now believe a man when he makes a promise, May no woman hope the words of her man are true. While their minds are desirous, desperate to obtain something, They are afraid of swearing nothing, There is nothing they won’t promise. But as soon as the lust in their desirous minds is sated, They remember none of their words, Have no fear of perjury.