Cosmic Trigger I: Final Secret of the Illuminati

by Robert Anton Wilson

a “Manual for Discordian Evangelists” which Thornley wrote: “The SOCRATIC APPROACH is most successful when confronting the ignorant. The Socratic approach is what you call starting an argument by asking questions. You approach the innocent and simply ask, ‘Did you know that God’s name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?’ If he should answer ‘Yes,’ then he is probably a fellow Erisian and so you can forget it. If he says ‘No,’ then quickly proceed to: “THE BLIND ASSERTION and say, ‘Well, He is a girl, and His name is ERIS!’ Shrewdly observe if the subject is convinced. If he is, swear him into the Legion of Dynamic Discord before he changes his mind. If he does not appear convinced, then proceed to: “THE FAITH BIT: ‘But you must have faith! All is lost without faith! I sure feel sorry for you if you don’t have Faith.’ And then add: “THE ARGUMENT BY FEAR and in an ominous voice ask, ‘Do you know what happens to those who deny Goddess?’ If he hesitates, don’t tell him that he will surely be reincarnated as a precious Mao Button and distributed to the poor in the Region of Thud (which would be a mean thing to say), just shake your head sadly and, while wiping a tear from your eye, go to: “THE FIRST CLAUSE PLOY wherein you point to all of the discord and confusion in the world and explain ‘Well who the hell do you think did all of this, wise guy?’ If he says, ‘Nobody, just impersonal forces,’ then quickly respond with: “THE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS and say that he is absol...