The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children

by Alison Gopnik

Caring for children is an absolutely fundamental, profoundly valuable part of the human project. But it isn’t carpentry, it isn’t a goal-directed enterprise aimed at shaping a child into a particular kind of adult. Instead, being a parent is like making a garden. It’s about providing a rich, stable, safe environment that allows many different kinds of flowers to bloom.