When We Collided

by Emery Lord

My dark days made me strong. Or maybe I already was strong, and they made me prove it.

Cognitively, I recognize my good fortune. But I don’t feel lucky. I want to start my whole life again—like I want to float my soul back up to the cosmos and come down as a different girl, in a different life.

It’s like when the dentist numbs your mouth, and you can bite your lip or tongue without even realizing it. At first, it was almost funny, like—Ha-ha, look at this! I can’t feel anything. But then the sensation stayed gone, and I thought it might be forever, and I got desperate to feel anything.