The Problem with Forever

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

For everyone who is still finding their voice and to those who have found theirs.

Words were never the problem. I had them, always had them, but it was plucking the words out and putting a voice to them that had always been tricky.

Words were not the enemy or the monster under my bed, but they held such power over me. They were like the ghost of a loved one, forever haunting me.

“She understands that if I have to pick between you two, it’s not going to be her.”

“You have the power over that. People can say crap. They can think whatever they want, but you control how you feel about it.”

nothing lasted forever, but some things, some scars, ran too deep to ever fade away.

And it was knowing that I could still be...still be afraid of everything, but not letting that fear stop me from living.

Forever was something we all took for granted, but the problem with forever was that it really didn’t exist.

When things got overwhelming, when you were stressed and stretched too thin, it was time to take a breather. He was all about mental health days. I remembered him ranting once about how if someone coughed, they were given time off from work, but if someone was mentally fatigued, they were expected to suck it up.

I learned that those who are always helping others help themselves last.

My past was a part of me and it molded who I was today, but it was not the sum of who I was to become. It did not control me.

Forever was a work in progress. And I couldn’t wait for forever.