Secondhand Time: The Last of the Soviets

by Svetlana Alexievich

What values does Russian capitalism espouse? Hating the underdogs, the people who haven’t made millions and don’t drive Mercedes. Instead of the red flag, it’s Christ is risen! And the cult of consumerism…People don’t fall asleep thinking of anything lofty, instead they mull over how they didn’t buy this or get that.

When the Germans were retreating, they took our pig and caught the last of our chickens. Before that, partisans had taken our cow away in the night…My mother hadn’t wanted to give it up, so one of the partisans shot up at the ceiling. They carried off Mama’s sewing machine and her dresses, too. Were they partisans or just burglars? They had guns…So, well, what can you do…? People always want to live, even during wartime. You’ll learn a lot from living through a war…There is no beast worse than man. It’s men who kill other men, not bullets. People kill people…Ah, my dear girl!

We dreamed…and meanwhile, we lived our Soviet lives by a unified set of rules that applied to everyone. Someone stands at the podium. He lies, everyone applauds, but everyone knows that he’s lying, and he knows that they know that he’s lying. Still, he says all that stuff and enjoys the applause. We had no doubts that our generation would go on living that way, so all we ever sought were sanctuaries.

What an exciting time! I handed out flyers in the subway…Everyone dreamt of a new life…Dreams…People dreamt that tons of salami would appear at the stores at Soviet prices and members of the Politburo would stand in line for it along with the rest of us. Salami is a benchmark of our existence. Our love for salami is existential…Twilight of the idols!

…We blew up a church…I can still hear the cries of the old women, “Children, don’t do it!” they begged us. Grabbed onto our ankles. The church had stood there for two hundred years. A prayed-in place, as they say. They built the municipal public toilet over the ruins. And forced the priests to work there as cleaning men. Washing out the shit. Today…of course…Today, I understand…But back then, it was fun…

How did you make it out of there alive?” “My parents loved me a lot when I was little.” We’re saved by the amount of love we get, it’s our safety net. Yes…only love can save us. Love is a vitamin that humans can’t live without—the blood curdles, the heart stops.

His one request: “Write that I was a happy man on my tombstone. That I was loved. The most terrible torment is not being loved.” [Silence.] Our lives are so short…just a flash!