Hidden expectations are common and can be addressed. One way to know if hidden expectations are occurring between you and someone else is to look for SWAT signs.11 Scorekeeping: when one or both of you are keeping track of who does what. Wheel Spinning: when you talk about the same problem over and over again. When an argument starts with you thinking, “Here we go again.” Avoidance: when one or both of you are avoiding certain topics or levels of intimacy. Trivial Triggers: when trivial issues are blown up out of all proportion. A small event triggers horrendous arguments.
