How to Have a Good Day: Harness the Power of Behavioral Science to Transform Your Working Life

by Caroline Webb

BUILDING REAL RAPPORT For your next conversation where rapport is important: Set collaborative intentions. Set intentions that focus on improving the quality of the relationship, not on your agenda. Check your negative assumptions. Decide to find the other person interesting. Ask quality questions. Get really curious about the other person. Turn some of your regular closed, factual questions into open questions that invite them to share their thoughts and feelings about a topic (and that can’t be answered with a yes or no). Show that you’re listening by following up with a “tell me more” about one thing they said. Create a sense of in-group. Look for points of similarity or connection—shared goals, gripes, or interests—to create a sense of in-group that means the other person’s brain sees you as friend rather than foe. Use reciprocal disclosure. If you’d like the other person to open up to you, think about what you’re willing to show and share of yourself. Pocket that phone. If you need to stay reachable while having an important conversation, make your ringtone loud enough to hear from your pocket or bag.