Play back what they’ve said. Where possible, repeat what you think they’re asking or saying, and check “did I get that right?” It makes them feel heard, which can calm them. And playing back their unvarnished words can occasionally highlight their unreasonableness. Talk about observable actions, not their attitude. You can have factual conversations about actions—for example, about whether something was done or not done, by whom, at what time. They can deny they have a bad attitude. It’s harder to deny the facts of what’s happened. Be crystal clear in your communication. Remember you each have
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