Say a close friend invites me to be his date for a gallery opening with an artist Q&A after. I really, really don’t give a fuck about gallery openings—like, the very idea of going to one makes me want to slit my wrists with a toothpick I just pried out of a stale cheese cube—but he’s very sensitive and artsy and I don’t want to risk hurting his feelings, so I tell him I have a personal policy against gallery openings.
