The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don't Have with People You Don't Like Doing Things You Don't Want to Do (A No F*cks Given Guide Book 1)

by Sarah Knight

“Life truly begins after you have put your house in order.”

You may not realize it, but the number of fucks you personally have to give is a finite and precious commodity.

Most people give away their fucks without much thought. Feelings of guilt, obligation, or anxiety cause them to behave in a manner that, while least objectionable to other people, is often detrimental to their own levels of annoy vs. joy.

When you think about it, life is a series of yes-or-no choices, fucks given and fucks withheld.

Not giving a fuck—crucially—means releasing yourself from the worry, anxiety, fear, and guilt associated with saying no,

Not giving a fuck means reducing mental clutter and eliminating annoying people and things from your life, freeing up space to truly enjoy all of the things you do give a fuck about.

What you can do is find your way back to that magical equilibrium where the burden of adulthood is lifted by embracing the childlike zest of not giving a fuck.

At the heart of the NotSorry Method is “not being an asshole.” After all, I didn’t want to lose friends, I just wanted to manage my time more effectively so I could get greater enjoyment (and less annoyance) out of being with my friends.

When it comes to how your fuck-giving affects other people, all you can control is your behavior with regard to their feelings, not their opinions.

There are two reasons you tend to give a fuck about what other people think: one, because you don’t want to be a bad person, and two, because you don’t want to look like a bad person.

For one, there is a sense of obligation when it comes to family, which supersedes even feelings and opinions.

The point is, you can only control how WELL you do your job, and how MUCH time and energy you put into it to minimize annoy and maximize joy.

And you can most certainly stop giving a fuck about taking notes. Seriously, have you ever used the notes you took in a meeting? Let’s be real.

It is very hard to get fired from a job that you’re doing well.

you don’t have to transform yourself from an overburdened fuck-giver into a jobless asshole/office pariah.

I think it’s important for our kids to know that they can make decisions about what to care about, and that they don’t need to pay attention to the approval or condescension of other people in deciding how to live their lives.”

Like the IRS, your family exists to fuck with you.

Once you feel guilty, you have already failed at not giving a fuck.

The power of honesty cannot be overrated. I can’t tell you how many more fucks you wind up giving when you try to beat around the bush. God, even that expression sounds exhausting.

Time, energy, and money are the things you gain by ceasing to give a fuck. And it’s extremely useful to keep them foremost in your mind

Visualizing your gains releases endorphins into your brain. And in my professional opinion, endorphins are magic.

It is important not to confuse this unfamiliar feeling of freedom with feelings of regret or shame. You made the right decision.

That’s not a twinge of regret* you are experiencing; that’s freedom with a side of pity

Coming at your fucks from an honest perspective allows you to say things like “I’m sorry, I don’t have time to read your self-published novel about gnomes, but I wish you all the best with it” or “I don’t like tea.” Simple and direct and, if delivered politely, very effective.

Fitting in. This—THIS RIGHT HERE—is why I wrote the book you are holding in your hands. Whether you are a beginner, intermediate, or expert no-fuck-giver, The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck is for people who are exhausted by presenting a façade of interest, enthusiasm, and conformity to the rest of the world. It is about empowering them (you) to feel free to be themselves (yourselves) and live their (your) best lives.