The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don't Have with People You Don't Like Doing Things You Don't Want to Do (A No F*cks Given Guide Book 1)

by Sarah Knight

If you’re like me, you’ve been giving too many fucks about too many things for too long. You’re overextended and overburdened by life. Stressed out, anxious, maybe even panic-stricken about your commitments.

“Life truly begins after you have put your house in order.”

I was a born fuck-giver. Maybe you are too.

In short, I gave way too many fucks for far, far too long. This was no way to live.

Many of these things I truly cared about, but some of them I didn’t; and yet, I gave each and every one of them a fuck because I didn’t know any better.

focus more on people and things that actually, as Marie Kondo might say, sparked joy.

not giving a fuck means not spending time, energy, and/or money on things that neither make you happy nor improve your life (annoy), so that you have more time, energy, and/or money to devote to the things that do (bring joy).

I call it the NotSorry Method. It has two steps: 1. Deciding what you don’t give a fuck about 2. Not giving a fuck about those things

Ask yourself the following question: Am I stressed out, overbooked, and/or underwhelmed by life? If the answer is yes to any of these, then pause for a moment to ask yourself: Why? I’m willing to bet the answer is: Because you give too many fucks. Or, more specifically, because you think you have to give those fucks.

the only way to change your life for the better is to stop giving so fucking many of them.

My NotSorry Method minimizes the time, energy, and money you spend on useless people and things. Admit it: you know exactly who and what I’m talking about!

When you think about it, life is a series of yes-or-no choices, fucks given and fucks withheld.

all those fucks you gave away were for the benefit of everyone but YOU.

Not giving a fuck means taking care of yourself first—like affixing your own oxygen mask before helping others.

Not giving a fuck means allowing yourself to say no. I don’t want to. I don’t have time. I can’t afford it.

Not giving a fuck—crucially—means releasing yourself from the worry, anxiety, fear, and guilt associated with saying no, allowing you to stop spending time you don’t have with people...

Children pretty much have it made. They don’t give a fuck because they don’t have to.

Assholes don’t give a fuck because they are genetically predisposed to get what they want no matter who they have to offend, step on, or—yes—fuck over along the way.

At the heart of the NotSorry Method is “not being an asshole.”

You could be extremely honest but very rude, which means someone deserves an apology. Or you could be superpolite and a fucking liar.

stop giving a fuck about what other people think.

You have no control over what other people think.

When it comes to how your fuck-giving affects other people, all you can control is your behavior with regard to their feelings, not their opinions.

If people think I’m lazy, that’s their fucking problem.

There are two reasons you tend to give a fuck about what other people think: one, because you don’t want to be a bad person, and two, because you don’t want to look like a bad person.

You can sidestep the prospect of hurt feelings entirely when you view your conflict through the lens of simple, emotionless opinion.

shrug your shoulders, and say, “I know, I know, everybody has an opinion!” Then change the subject to neutral territory, like whether George Clooney is getting hotter with age.

It may take a little getting used to, but you must stop giving a fuck about what other people think.

I suggest you implement a budget for your fucks.

I’m telling you, the moment you decide to stop giving a fuck is the moment you start living your best life.

As Albert Einstein once said, “If I had an hour to solve a problem I’d spend 55 minutes thinking about the problem and 5 minutes thinking about solutions.” Smart guy; no wonder he won a Nobel Prize.

Trust me on this. Or at least trust Einstein.

The point is, you can only control how WELL you do your job, and how MUCH time and energy you put into it to minimize annoy and maximize joy.

if you find those meetings to be black holes of useless chatter, not to mention a total fucking waste of your time, you could decide to not give a fuck about paying attention. And you can most certainly stop giving a fuck about taking notes. Seriously, have you ever used the notes you took in a meeting? Let’s be real.

it’s a lot easier to keep your job if you are respected rather than merely liked.

And if doing a good job means spending more fucks on getting shit done and fewer on whether people like you while you’re getting it done, then you’ve escaped the Likability Vortex and the fucknado that comes with it.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It is very hard to get fired from a job that you’re doing well.

the real question is, how did those fucks get there in the first place? Oh, that’s right. You let them in.

Are you worried that your friends will be mad at you if you just tell them the polite truth? Then you worry too much.

In this case, you should reply with something like “That is so great! I’m so happy for you!” meanwhile thinking, I am not acknowledging that I haven’t contributed unless you ask me outright, you coward.

the general principle of which is to yield to an incoming attack rather than meet it with opposing force.

you can politely respond to her passive-aggression with a dose of your own and win this battle without your friend even realizing that you’ve fought.

“It’s about a funneling of fucks, really. All of my fucks have been funneled toward my child. I have none left over for you or for how you do it.”

giving your fucks to the things that make you happy—like reading or cooking or playing with your mini-me—and not giving a fuck about the rest.

Whatever floats your boat.

sometimes you just can’t worry about whose feelings are getting hurt in pursuit of living your best life.

But some time, some day, in your heart of hearts, you will know when it is okay to hurt someone’s feelings in the process of not giving a fuck. Economists call it an opportunity cost. I call it common sense.

the whole purpose of making these lists and crossing out things that threaten to overdraw your Fuck Budget is to reveal the ones that are worthy.

Once you feel guilty, you have already failed at not giving a fuck.

Not giving a fuck should always result in greater pleasure, satisfaction, and happiness. Not crotch itch.