The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don't Have with People You Don't Like Doing Things You Don't Want to Do (A No F*cks Given Guide Book 1)

by Sarah Knight

“Life truly begins after you have put your house in order.”

I RSVP’d “no” to a couple of after-work mixers. I unfriended some truly irritating people on Facebook.

Brings you joy? Then by all means, keep giving a fuck. But perhaps the more pertinent question is: Does it annoy? If so, you need to stop giving a fuck,

You should give a fuck if something—be it human, inanimate, or conceptual—does not annoy and does bring you joy.

Not giving a fuck means taking care of yourself first—like affixing your own oxygen mask before helping others. Not giving a fuck means allowing yourself to say no. I don’t want to. I don’t have time. I can’t afford it. Not giving a fuck—crucially—means releasing yourself from the worry, anxiety, fear, and guilt associated with saying no, allowing you to stop spending time you don’t have with people you don’t like doing things you don’t want to do.

Not giving a fuck means reducing mental clutter and eliminating annoying people and things from your life, freeing up space to truly enjoy all of the things you do give a fuck about.

You can attain enlightenment without turning into an asshole.

Please listen when I say that the shame and guilt you feel when you’re trying so hard to not give a fuck? It’s usually not because you are wrong to not give that fuck. It’s because you’re worried about what other people might think about your decision. And guess what? You have no control over what other people think.

There are two reasons you tend to give a fuck about what other people think: one, because you don’t want to be a bad person, and two, because you don’t want to look like a bad person.

you know full well when you’re hurting someone’s feelings. Don’t be an asshole.

need to tell you—honestly and politely—that I don’t share your opinion that all-natural peanut butter is something I want to put in my mouth. Thus implying that I won’t be purchasing any tonight. Or ever.

if your difference of opinion with a friend reflects a difference in core values, you might want to handle it with a little less honesty and an extra dose of polite.

Then change the subject to neutral territory, like whether George Clooney is getting hotter with age.

When you’ve actually behaved badly, you should be sorry, and you should say so. And if you’re about to behave badly and think that a quick Sorry is going to ameliorate it, you’re wrong. Maybe stop being such an asshole for a change.

if you’ve done nothing to be sorry about, you can (a) stop feeling sorry and (b) stop telling people you are!

It may take a little getting used to, but you must stop giving a fuck about what other people think. Just don’t be an asshole

you need to consider outcomes before committing to giving your fucks. Your time, energy, and/or money spent should result in greater joy for you.

Let’s review the basics—the tools and processes for Deciding Whether or Not to Give a Fuck so you can proceed to Give or Not Give a Fuck: • Does the fuck you’re about to give (or not give) affect only you? Or others? • If the former, you are way ahead of the game! • If the latter, you must first stop giving a fuck about what other people think, before you can move on to not giving a fuck about the matter at hand. • In order to do that, consider their opinions separately from their feelings. • Don’t be an asshole. • Now consult your Fuck Budget: What is that fuck worth to you? Can you afford it? • If the answer is yes, then by all means, go for it! But if the answer is no, proceed in an honest and polite fashion toward not giving a fuck and being 100 percent, bona fide NotSorry.

take a minute and do a free-form visualization of all the things that you currently feel pressured—by

Things Work Friends, Acquaintances, and Strangers Family

Things come first in your pursuit of not giving a fuck because they are inanimate and can’t talk back. Then Work, because it provokes some feeling of bitterness and resentment in nearly every person I know, which is a good motivator. Then Friends, Acquaintances, and Strangers once you’ve gotten your sea legs. Family comes last in your study of not giving a fuck, for what should be obvious reasons.