The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don't Have with People You Don't Like Doing Things You Don't Want to Do (A No F*cks Given Guide Book 1)

by Sarah Knight

You may not realize it, but the number of fucks you personally have to give is a finite and precious commodity.

So stop saying yes right away to please others and, instead, take a moment to question not only whether you give a fuck (i.e., care) about the matter at hand but whether it deserves a fuck (i.e., your time, energy, and/or money) given to it as a line item on your Fuck Budget.

life is a series of yes-or-no choices, fucks given and fucks withheld. If you continue on your current path, then at the end of each day, or week, or month, you’re bound to find yourself scraping the bottom of your own personal fuck barrel—which is when you’ll realize that all those fucks you gave away were for the benefit of everyone but YOU.

Please listen when I say that the shame and guilt you feel when you’re trying so hard to not give a fuck? It’s usually not because you are wrong to not give that fuck. It’s because you’re worried about what other people might think about your decision. And guess what? You have no control over what other people think.

There are two reasons you tend to give a fuck about what other people think: one, because you don’t want to be a bad person, and two, because you don’t want to look like a bad person.

The Likability Vortex occurs when you care more about being liked than about being worthy of respect. You wind up floundering inside a devastating fucknado of your own design. Why? Because you can’t control whether or not people like you.

Once you feel guilty, you have already failed at not giving a fuck. Game over. Because feeling guilty means you have not been able to effectively use the tools and perspective I’ve taught you to not only not give a fuck, but to feel happier doing it.

The power of honesty cannot be overrated. I can’t tell you how many more fucks you wind up giving when you try to beat around the bush.

Shame is lonely and isolating, and guilt is a direct result of shame.

But there’s another way to not give a fuck that is actually quite passive and similarly transformative in both the short and long term. I equate this version of not giving a fuck to mentally repeating the phrase It’s just not worth it.