Courage to Change—One Day at a Time in Al‑Anon II

by Al-Anon Family Groups

JANUARY 15 Recently I learned about a crisis in the life of an alcoholic I love. Today, while trying to work, I found myself slumping in my chair, depressed and distracted. Soon, all thoughts of work had fled, and I was busy projecting a horrible outcome to my loved one’s crisis and dreading the ways in which the consequences might affect me. The slogan, “One Day at a Time” reminds me that, in spite of my fears, I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Why am I leaping into the future? Perhaps I’ve given my feelings no room to exist. Part of me gambles that by worrying in advance, bad news will be easier to face if it comes. But worrying will not protect me from the future. It will just keep me from living here and now. Today’s Reminder I needn’t explore how I’ll feel about something that might occur in the future. I don’t actually know how I’ll feel, and it may never happen. So when I feel myself leaving the present, I’ll remind myself that the future is not today’s problem. “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow; it only saps today of its strength.” A.J. Cronin

JANUARY 23 In Step Three we “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.” This is a big decision for those of us who have a tough time making even small decisions. Until I found Al-Anon, I tended to let others decide how I should live, where I should go, and what I should do. The paradox is that, though I took little responsibility for my own life, I saw myself as an expert on everyone else’s life and felt accountable for all that happened. The order in which the first three Steps are written helps me to overcome these attitude problems. First, I accept my inability to control the disease of alcoholism and admit that my life is unmanageable. Next, I come to believe that a Power greater than myself can help. After taking these two Steps, it becomes possible, desirable, and even logical, to make the enormous decision to trust my life to a Higher Power’s care. Today’s Reminder At the start of each day I can make the decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God. This way I begin my day with a strong assertion that I choose to accept the reality of my life. I am moving in a healthy direction, growing ever more able to live a good life and to love those I meet along the way. “Decision is a risk rooted in the courage of being free.” Paul Tillich

JANUARY 27 I knew I was in trouble: I was ready to throw someone I loved very deeply out of my life forever because he had left unwashed dishes in the sink. I was obviously overreacting, yet I couldn’t calm down. I picked up the phone and called an Al-Anon friend. After hearing me out, she mentioned that I seemed angry about more than dirty dishes. I certainly was. To me, those dishes were evidence of a whole pattern of disrespect. She said that she too grew annoyed and played martyr when faced with the same situation again and again, but whenever she tried to mend all the problems of a relationship in a single day, she failed—it just isn’t possible to do so. Instead, she tried to deal with one situation at a time. I still don’t like dirty dishes, but I don’t have to interpret them as having a deeper meaning. I am learning to take things at face value. Sometimes dirty dishes are just dirty dishes. Today’s Reminder Why do I allow myself to suffer, to blow small things out of proportion? I can break a situation down to a more manageable size by taking it one day at a time. “The whole purpose of Al-Anon is to help us iron out the rough spots in our living, and that can be done only one day at a time.” One Day at a Time in Al-Anon

JANUARY 28 Newcomers are often surprised at the number of years longtime members have been attending Al-Anon meetings. They may be even more surprised that some of us have sobriety in our homes, or no longer have any alcoholics in our lives. Why do we keep coming back? For many of us the answer is “serenity.” Sometimes I get impatient, or rebellious, or bored. I go through periods where I see little change in myself, and I begin to doubt. But even after many years of Al-Anon recovery, if I miss too many meetings, things seem to become unmanageable all over again. I have been affected by someone else’s drinking. I don’t want to underestimate the lasting impact that alcoholism has had on me. So I keep coming back. I came to Al-Anon for a quick fix for my pain, but I stay because of the consistency, security, and friendship I find each day. Because of my commitment to my own growth, I am able to handle very difficult situations with a great deal of peace, and the delight in my life continues to exceed my wildest dreams. Today’s Reminder I see my recovery as a healthy way of life that I can gladly share with others. Today I am actively pursuing a better life because I am working on myself. “Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.” Just For Today

many would have stopped long ago. It would do me no good