The Lifegiving Home: Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming

by Sally Clarkson

A simple way that we taught a pattern for manners in our family and in discipleship relationships was based on three simple words: Stop! Look! Listen! Here is how we taught these principles to our kids: Stop! When you meet someone—a friend, someone in the family, or a guest in our home—stop and take a moment to ponder him or her. This is a person created by God. It is your stewardship to honor that person as someone who has value in God’s eyes. Decide in your heart to give honor to all you meet. Breathe in the reality that the person right in front of you is more important than the dutiful tasks at hand. Choose an attitude that is right for the moment. Look! Observe the person’s personality, age, and needs to determine how you might make his or her life a little better. If it is a child, talk to him and offer a toy, a book, or a way to occupy his time. If it is an adult, observe her needs—does she need rest? Food? Companionship? How can you help her feel comfortable or at home? Help guests in your home feel they belong by showing them where they can find what they need—food, coffee and tea and mugs, a place to rest, a movie to watch, a shelf of books. Listen! Most people have a deep desire to be known, understood, and affirmed. Take initiative to ask them questions about themselves. Get to know their stories, listen to what they are telling you with their words, emotions, eyes, and body language. Practice responding to people by perceiving what they are communicating. Reac...