NEED HELP? The choice to accept help from David would come to seem oddly menacing. Later, I would spend too much time thinking about the choices I made that year. Irrational as it was, I sometimes believed he might not have raped me just a few months later—lowered my face to the keyhole fly of his cotton briefs and forced me to go down on him until I gagged on a cocktail of my own vomit and his semen, the intimacy I’d thought I wanted from him only a few minutes before now forced on me in such excess—if I’d only chosen to carry my own boxes into the dorm.
Rape
