#Junkie (GearShark, #1)

by Cambria Hebert

He was my person. The one I always wanted to be there.

He kissed deeply, far deeper than I’d ever been kissed before. He had the size, he had the strength, and dear baby Jesus, he had the tongue.

What was supposed to be an experiment turned to desperation. The floodgate of feelings suppressed so long was now burst open, and I declared to never go back again. Holy fuck, I was overwhelmed.

It was like finally understanding the answer to an impossible question.

Trent was there. He tightened his grip on my waist, and I discovered I was right. He was a really strong net and with him I would never fall.

We kissed just to try. To see if maybe there was something more between us than friendship. We had an answer now. An unequivocal, resounding reply. There was definitely more between Trent and me than just friendship. Way, way much more.

Brave even though he was clearly barely holding it together. Strong in the face of a hurricane. Solid in a crumbling world.

I loved him in a way I’d never loved anyone before.

It shouldn’t feel like a punishment or a crime to love someone. Anyone. People stepped out in the world today with guns and bombs. They killed one another without any thought of an actual human life. But I lay there in bed and worried what people might do when they found out I loved someone.

Drew might be the cause of the debate inside me, but he was also the solution. I didn’t know anything else, but I did know that.

I didn’t prefer him one way or the other. I liked both. That’s what it was to love someone, right? To love all parts of them.

I might not be a morning person, but I was a Trent person.

I felt him on a different level. I shied away from saying a soul-deep level even though that’s what I suspected. His energy charged mine. Kind of like a battery being plugged in. It was impossible not to feel his presence.

I felt lucky to love him in that moment. I understood exactly why I could. I tucked that feeling deep down inside me, because I was sure I would need it later.

“If you don’t want me to be your boyfriend, what do you want me to be?” This was highly amusing but in a kind of appropriate way. It seemed like there was nothing traditional about Drew and me, so why should the way we referred to our relationship be? “You’re my person,” he concluded after a moment of silence. “My exclusive person.” I laughed. “Your exclusive person, huh?” He nodded. The scruff on his jaw scratched against my chest. “And I’ll be yours.” “Kind of like out of everyone—women and men alike—I’m the person you chose,” I mused. “I like it.”

It was him—plain and simple. It was having my best friend become my lover, my heart, and the center of my world.

Love does take. Loving someone takes strength. Love takes hard work. And sometimes… Love takes sacrifice. I remember thinking, feeling the only thing worse than being with Drew was being without him.