The Dark Side of the Mind: Stories of Love, Courage and Transformation

by Alba Alamillo

Your immediate group of family or friends (I’ll call it your tribe) also doesn’t feel comfortable when you change because the group wants to keep its homeostasis. If you change, the whole group dynamic will change. “Homeostasis is a relatively stable state of equilibrium or a tendency toward such a state between the different but interdependent elements or groups of elements of an organism, population, or group.” Merriam Webster dictionary In other words, sometimes your group will sabotage you even though they know that your change is for the better. When one person in the family leaves or changes radically, he forces the family to adjust their behavior to compensate for the change of one of its parts. We are a piece in a puzzle and if one piece changes, the whole puzzle will try to make the piece switch back to its prior shape because it has an impact on the group dynamics. That’s why the group resists the change. However, when they see that change is inevitable, the group will grieve and then it will finally adapt and adjust.