The Tao of Fully Feeling: Harvesting Forgiveness out of Blame

by Pete Walker

I have been down many blind alleys in my attempts to come to terms with my emotions. I’ve repressed them, swallowed them, drowned them in drink, ascended above them in clouds of hemp, starved them out, interred them with food, transcended them in meditation, outrun them, outsmarted them with rationalization, exorcised them, handed them over to higher beings, transmuted them into pretty lights, and even briefly felt them before purging them in dramatic catharses that promised to render them finally extinct.

“The only pain that can be avoided is the pain that comes from trying to avoid unavoidable pain.”

the covering up of painful emotions inside us . . . has become in our country the national and private style. We have established, with awesome verve, the animal of denial as the guiding beast of the nation’s life.

We cannot access the many avenues and subtleties of communication that make friendships rich and enduringly interesting. If we can only be friends when we are happy and “up,” then our friendships are painfully superficial.