Shame is commonly distinguished, correctly enough, from fully reflective moral self-awareness; it is a feeling, not a cognition, and is largely instinctive. It can be inflamed by trivial occasions and unresponsive to great ones. Its reactions in any instance must be questioned, and may often be dismissed when we are told by someone we can trust, “That’s nothing to be ashamed of!” Shame is a bewildered attention to the self, astonished by the inner contradiction of failed agency. Where, it asks, is this boasted agency of mine? But its concern is with the appearance; it cannot submit a failure
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