Twilight / Life and Death (The Twilight Saga)

by Stephenie Meyer

I intuitively knew—and sensed he did, too—that tomorrow would be pivotal. Our relationship couldn’t continue to balance, as it did, on the point of a knife. We would fall off one edge or the other, depending entirely upon his decision, or his instincts.

My decision was made, made before I’d ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it through. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him. It was an impossibility.

the cold pills took effect, and I gladly sank into unconsciousness. I woke early, having slept soundly and dreamlessly thanks to my gratuitous drug use.

“Are you so depressed by Forks that it’s made you suicidal?”

Hesitantly, always afraid, even now, that he would disappear like a mirage, too beautiful to be real… hesitantly, I reached out one finger and stroked the back of his shimmering hand, where it lay within my reach. I marveled again at the perfect texture, satin smooth, cool as stone.

“I am so very sorry.” He hesitated. “Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?”

“As if you could outrun me,” he laughed bitterly.

“Don’t be afraid,” he murmured, his velvet voice unintentionally seductive. “I promise…” He hesitated. “I swear not to hurt you.” He seemed more concerned with convincing himself than me. “Don’t be afraid,” he whispered again as he stepped closer, with exaggerated slowness.

“It’s not only your company I crave! Never forget that. Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else.”

let’s say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac—and filled the room with its warm aroma—how do you think he would fare then?” We sat silently, looking into each other’s eyes—trying to read each other’s thoughts. He broke the silence first. “Maybe that’s not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead.” “So what you’re saying is, I’m your brand of heroin?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I’d dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant little girl”—he grinned suddenly—“to chase me from the place I wanted to be? So I came back.…” He stared off into space.

“It was unquestionably a complication that I couldn’t simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasn’t used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jessica’s mind… her mind isn’t very original, and it was annoying to have to stoop to that. And then I couldn’t know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating.” He frowned at the memory.

“Bella, I couldn’t live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don’t know how it’s tortured me.” He looked down, ashamed again. “The thought of you, still, white, cold… to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses… it would be unendurable.” He lifted his glorious, agonized eyes to mine. “You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever.”

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…,” he murmured. I looked away, hiding my eyes as I thrilled to the word. “What a stupid lamb,” I sighed. “What a sick, masochistic lion.”

Listening to my heart. “Ah,” he sighed.

I couldn’t think of anything, except that he was touching me.

I caressed his cheek, delicately stroked his eyelid, the purple shadow in the hollow under his eye. I traced the shape of his perfect nose, and then, so carefully, his flawless lips. His lips parted under my hand, and I could feel his cool breath on my fingertips. I wanted to lean in, to inhale the scent of him. So I dropped my hand and leaned away, not wanting to push him too far.

“I’m a bit heavier than your average backpack,” I warned. “Hah!” he snorted. I could almost hear his eyes rolling. I’d never seen him in such high spirits before.

“No, it was very interesting.” “Hah! You’re as white as a ghost—no, you’re as white as me!” “I think I should have closed my eyes.” “Remember that next time.” “Next time!” I groaned.

“I’m stronger than I thought. It’s nice to know.”

“Bella, I’ve already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. I’m not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can’t even walk straight. Besides, friends don’t let friends drive drunk,” he quoted with a chuckle. I could smell the unbearably sweet fragrance coming off his chest. “Drunk?” I objected. “You’re intoxicated by my very presence.” He was grinning that playful smirk again.

human memories fade.”

Carlisle has always been the most humane, the most compassionate of us.… I don’t think you could find his equal throughout all of history.”

Alice doesn’t remember her human life at all. And she doesn’t know who created her. She awoke alone. Whoever made her walked away, and none of us understand why, or how, he could. If she hadn’t had that other sense, if she hadn’t seen Jasper and Carlisle and known that she would someday become one of us, she probably would have turned into a total savage.”

come here almost every night.” I whirled, stunned. “Why?” “You’re interesting when you sleep.” He spoke matter-of-factly. “You talk.” “No!” I gasped, heat flooding my face all the way to my hairline. I gripped the kitchen counter for support.

Once you said, ‘It’s too green.’” He laughed softly, hoping, I could see, not to offend me further.

“I won’t leave you.” His voice had the seal of a promise in it.

They’d taken bets yesterday, you know”—he smiled, but his voice was harsh—“on whether I’d bring you back, though why anyone would bet against Alice, I can’t imagine. At any rate, we don’t have secrets in

“Are you going to tell Charlie I’m your boyfriend or not?” he demanded. “Is that what you are?” I suppressed my internal cringing at the thought of Edward and Charlie and the word boyfriend all in the same room at the same time. “It’s a loose interpretation of the word ‘boy,’ I’ll admit.”

He hid in a cellar, buried himself in rotting potatoes for three days. It’s a miracle he was able to keep silent, to stay undiscovered.

He swam to France and—” “He swam to France?” “People swim the Channel all the time, Bella,” he reminded me patiently.

technically, we don’t need to breathe.” “You—” “No, no, you promised.” He laughed, putting his cold finger lightly to my lips. “Do you want to hear the story or not?” “You can’t spring something like that on me, and then expect me not to say anything,” I mumbled against his finger.

I wondered which images filled his mind now, Carlisle’s memories or his own. I waited quietly.

“We will be playing baseball.” I rolled my eyes. “Vampires like baseball?” “It’s the American pastime,” he said with mock solemnity.

“You take care of my girl, all right?” I groaned, but they ignored me. “She’ll be safe with me, I promise, sir.” Charlie couldn’t doubt Edward’s sincerity, it rang in every word.

at him, puzzled. “You smell so good in the rain,” he explained. “In a good way, or in a bad way?” I asked cautiously. He sighed. “Both, always both.”

“Would I let a tree hurt you?” His lips barely brushed against my trembling lower lip. “No,” I breathed. I knew there was a second part to my brilliant defense, but I couldn’t quite call it back. “You see,” he said, his lips moving against mine. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, is there?” “No,” I sighed, giving up.

“I love you,” he said. “It’s a poor excuse for what I’m doing, but it’s still true.”

Only Emmett seemed unperturbed; the rest stared at Carlisle’s face with anxious eyes.

Carlisle stood at the plate, and the others joined the game halfheartedly.

All of this could be avoided if they preferred basketball

As they approached, I could see how different they were from the Cullens. Their walk was catlike, a gait that seemed constantly on the edge of shifting into a crouch. They dressed in the ordinary gear of backpackers: jeans and casual button-down shirts in heavy, weatherproof fabrics. The clothes were frayed, though, with wear, and they were barefoot. Both men had cropped hair, but the woman’s brilliant orange hair was filled with leaves and debris from the woods.

“Not over me, you don’t! You’re not ruining everything over me!” I struggled violently, with total futility.

“We’ll be together again in a few days,” he said, tightening his arm around me. “Don’t forget that this was your idea.” “It was the best idea—of course it was mine.”

“Would you tell me the truth, though?” “Yes. I will always tell you the truth.” Her voice was earnest.

I wondered where we would have gone. North somewhere, so he could be outside in the day. Or maybe somewhere very remote, so we could lay in the sun together again. I imagined him by the shore, his skin sparkling like the sea. It

The sun was hot on my skin, too bright as it bounced off the white concrete and blinded me. I felt dangerously exposed. More fiercely than I would have dreamed I was capable of, I wished for the green, protective forests of Forks… of home.

“I would just like to rub it in, just a little bit. The answer was there all along, and I was so afraid Edward would see that and ruin my fun. It happened once, oh, ages ago. The one and only time my prey escaped me.

They gave you a few transfusions. I didn’t like it—it made you smell all wrong for a while.”

“I was a little bit worried when Phil started talking about Akron, what with the snow and everything, because you know how I hate the cold, but now Jacksonville!

“It’s possible to take bravery to the point where it becomes insanity.”