We don’t find ourselves shaming others loudly in the staff meeting apart from our own shame telling us that we are not enough. We do not embezzle unless at some deep level we believe we are not enough without the money. We continually look at pornography in no small part as a coping mechanism for our inadequacy that long precedes it. We don’t avoid hard conversations in our marriages without our conviction that we don’t have what it takes to tolerate what will inevitably be said, which will lead to someone leaving, someone living out in words or actions that we are not enough. In all these and
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