Furthermore, my memory is inundated with old, implicit network activity, recollections of other times I have felt this, and I am unable to marshal the necessary memories of strength and confidence I desperately need at the moment. Shame is overtaking me. I then begin to construct a narrative that predicts a bleak and pessimistic future. I am unable to tell the whole story, certainly not one in which I am loved by God unconditionally and life, in the end, will be okay. My state of mind is fully disrupted, and transitioning back to one of coherence and peacefulness requires enormous effort. I
...more
