The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves

by Curt Thompson

Shame’s presence is ubiquitous and inserts itself into the genetic material of the human storytelling endeavor. One way to envision shame is as a personal attendant. Imagine that you have a completely devoted attendant attuned to every sensation, image, feeling, thought and behavior you have. However, imagine that your shame attendant’s intention is not good, is not to care for you but rather to infuse nonverbal and verbal elements of judgment into every moment of your life. The word attendant at first may seem counterintuitive, as it usually applies to someone who has our best interests in mind. But this is how shame works, a wolf disguised in sheep’s clothing. Hence, our shame attendant appears in language, feelings, sensations and images that may on the surface seem acceptable, common and normal, but its purpose is anything but being helpful. We each have our own who attends to every turn in our storytelling venture, no matter how large or small the moment. Our attendant is waiting to offer advice, suggestions and reflections with the intended purpose of disintegration.