The natural progression, then, of the development of integrated minds, relationships and communities is fully realized in the experience of joy—joy even in the presence of very hard places. For secure attachment is not primarily about the absence of pain but the presence of joy in the face of those challenging places. It is not about the absence of ruptures but the faithful repair of ruptures, even when repair seems beyond the reach of our imaginations. Shame of course will do everything it can to interfere with the emergence of joy, curiosity and the creativity that inevitably ensues—even in
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