The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves

by Curt Thompson

unless leadership of an organization is open to curiosity, open to the idea that unless we are known, what we know doesn’t matter, and open to seeking where shame hides, exposing the reality of our naked, vulnerable selves, and disregarding the shame that wants us to hide, we will continue to repeat the interaction that took place in Eden, eventually foisting on our pastors, elders, deacons and staff members what Eve and Adam foisted on each other. “And their eyes were opened . . .” Between our ignorance of and unwillingness to expose our shame, we end up with leadership that turns a blind eye to sexual abuse, interactive styles that foster the maintenance of unspoken caste systems (not least being that between men and women) and doctrinal positions that hold that the proclamation of the gospel leads with the story that we are shameful sinners and follows up with the story that God loves us, rather than the other way round. We often cope with these undercurrent themes in the same way the first couple did. We seek knowledge. We want to “know.” And to know in this case is as much about power as it is about knowledge. Power enables us not only to cope with our deep awareness of weak vulnerability, but also eliminates that weakness from our consciousness.