Laurus

by Eugene Vodolazkin

And now I will acquaint you, you shits (he looked around at those standing there), with the following facts.

Me if I was a prophet

On the first of September, holy fool Foma came to see Arseny and wish him a happy new year. He brought a dead rat as a gift: Foma held the rat by the tail and it swung sorrowfully back and forth. After laying the rat at Arseny’s headboard, holy fool Foma pressed its front paws against its snout and turned to the patient: I am heartily glad, colleague, that you did not take on a wretched appearance such as this. After all, everything was headed in that direction.

Friend goals

The patient needs fresh air, Foma shouted, but—and do forgive me—it’s as stale in here as inside the Devil’s ass.

Stealing this