Laurus

by Eugene Vodolazkin

I have often regretted the things I have said, but I have never regretted my silence.

And thus, O Arseny, those who take on suffering for Christ are reborn in all their glory for the Kingdom of Heaven.

Arseny turned away: But I have begun to fear death. The elder ran his hand along Arseny’s hair. He said: Each of us repeats Adam’s journey and acknowledges, with the loss of innocence, that he is mortal. Weep and pray, O Arseny. And do not fear death, for death is not just the bitterness of parting. It is also the joy of liberation.

yes. Love made you and Ustina a united whole, which means a part of Ustina is still here. It is you.

If you are not thinking about the finiteness of your strength, you will not tire, either. Know, O Arseny, that only he who does not fear drowning is capable of walking on water.

I feel you less strongly when I am amid luxury, he admitted to Ustina, in tears. And there it is impossible to accomplish the task I now live for.

Your trouble, if you will, is that reaching final conclusions just isn’t your thing. You’re afraid the decision you make will deprive you of further choice, so that paralyzes your will. Even now, you don’t know why you’ve come. Meanwhile, you’ve missed out on the best thing life had arranged for you.

A city of saints, whispered Ambrogio, following the play of the shadow. They present us the illusion of life. No, objected Arseny, also in a whisper. They disprove the illusion of death.

It is easy to follow signs, and that requires no courage,

So you say faith is not enough for you and you want knowledge, too. But knowledge does not involve spiritual effort; knowledge is obvious. Faith assumes effort. Knowledge is repose and faith is motion.

But were the venerable not aspiring for the harmony of repose? asked Arseny. They took the route of faith, answered the elder. And their faith was so strong it turned into knowledge.

The path of the living, O Amvrosy, cannot be a circle. The path of the living, even if they are monks, has been opened up because, as one might ask, how could there be freedom of will if there is no way out of a vicious circle? And even when we replicate events in prayer, we do not simply recall them. We relive those events once again and they occur once again.

After I have become enamored of geometry, I will liken the motion of time to a spiral. This involves repetition but on some new, higher level. Or, if you like, the experience of something new but not from a clean slate. With the memory of what was experienced previously.

Remember, O Amvrosy, that repetitions are granted for our salvation and in order to surmount time.

He also saw two fine young men in white robes and his soul flew into their arms. And they raised his soul into the air and led him through a series of ordeals, carrying with them a small chest containing this warrior’s good deeds. And for each wicked deed there was, in the chest, a good deed and it would be taken from the chest, to cover the cost of the wicked deed.

Neverthelesse we remember that since the soul is one, there is but one time for lyfe, and we do not trust in the offerings of others to save us.