Laurus

by Eugene Vodolazkin

I have often regretted the things I have said, but I have never regretted my silence.

everyone remains alone with God at the final moment.

Yesterday they did not allow me into the quarter. They said I carry the pestilence with me. Can it be that you do not fear the pestilence? Arseny shrugged his shoulders. My grandfather died and now I fear little. All is God’s will.

In the evenings they read.

And he also tirelessly delighted in her eyes, which had become completely different in pregnancy. Something damp and vulnerable had appeared in them. Something reminding Arseny of a calf’s eyes.

Ustina’s body was testing the endurance of her spirit in an obvious way.

Arseny remembered Arsenius the Great, who more than once regretted the things he said but never once regretted his silence.

when you miss someone, we’re talking about lacking a piece of you, yourself. And you’re looking to be reunited with that piece.

not leave the deck for several hours. He listened with delight to the mast creaking and the sails flapping: this was the sweet music of wayfaring.

Arseny warned against panic, which is ruinous. He reminded them that not one hair would fall from a person’s head without God’s will, and called on people not to lock themselves away in their homes and forget about helping those nearby. Many had forgotten.

And so, in the kitchen, Amvrosy was granted the gift of tears and when he was alone, tears perpetually washed his face.

The tears cleansed his soul as well as his face.

Laurus is a good name, for the plants that carry this name, laurus, are medicinal. Being evergreen, they signify eternal life.

He was not lonely because he did not feel that people had abandoned him. He sensed everyone he had ever met as if they were present. They continued a quiet life in his soul, regardless of whether they had gone off to another world or were still alive.

Grieve not, O Laurus, for you will not remain locked up in time much longer.

Even the dire circumstances of their life do not stop the curious: for many people, the attraction of seeing someone else’s fall with one’s own eyes is stronger than hunger.