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“I hope your blood does the trick for DC,” Thaddeus said. “If you saved his life, then they’d have to forgive you, right?” “You are so naïve, it physically aggrieves me.”
“We’ll discuss this later.” To make the statement true, Lothaire envisioned the extent of their “discussion.” Thaddeus would ask, “Can I go with you?” Lothaire would reply, “No. Now, fuck off.”
“Hoo!” Which he supposed was Hillbilly for “Excellent.”
Over his shoulder, he ordered, “Eat something nourishing.” After a rebellious pause, she said, “Blo-berry waff-els. May-pole see-rup.” Then she cried, “Hoo!” Excellent.
“If you want to communicate an idea to a man’s brain, you talk to him through his pecker. It’s like an ear horn, y’all.”
He wants me to fix a human being! Should I reach for the whiskey? Or perhaps a Band-Aid?”
Lothaire had snagged the boy straight out of the front yard of Val Hall, saying, “Need your help to fix Lizvetta.” The Valkyries had shrieked, “You can’t take him! Leave him be, vampire!” To which Lothaire had eloquently responded, “Go fuck yourselves!”
They just like to get high with the witches, play video games, and shriek at stuff.”
The boy pounded a shooter. “And out on the trail, Lothaire told this burly berserker to watch himself, ‘else I’ll revisit my juvenile skull-fucking phase.’ ” Elizabeth snorted beer out of her nose, and Thaddeus threw back his head to laugh. Hag didn’t join them; she knew Lothaire had been serious. Ah, my mischievous youth . . .
As the god handed over the vines with relief, he asked Lothaire about his new Bride, the one Loreans everywhere were speculating about. “Is she anyone I know?” “She’s no one,” Lothaire answered truthfully. “I really thought you’d demand my firstborn.” “As if I’d want your fucking guppy,”
“Look at your expression. You’re falling in love with me.” She could scarcely think, but for some reason she didn’t want him to have that power over her. “I’m not falling in love with you.” I might be falling in love with you. “Of course you are.” Guard your heart! “I-I never said that.” “Ah, but I’m me.”
Oh, come on, the vamp won’t actually do— DUDE! She fucking did it!” —“Ellie’s my best friend.” —“I liked her before I even met her—you hate her compared to how much I like her.” —“She’ll never pay cover in the Lore again.”
“How did you get in here, Valkyrie?” She peered around, golden eyes wide, then whispered, “Get in where?”
“And get the mountains next to it, just in case.” “I see we’re planning to buy the queen’s forgiveness. It’s about time.” “Cease. Speaking.”
“If I was with Lothaire, I’d have to live inside a mountain!” Finally, Mama had frowned. “Like in a burrow or something?”
“A castle. But that’s not the point.
He lowered his hand, grumbling, “My heart doesn’t fucking work right without you.” She seemed to soften at that, but then she asked, “Has anything really changed?” “I’ve learned I need to consult you in matters, lest you decapitate me.”
He sat up, going still. “Am I wearing a wife-beater, Lizvetta?” He gaped down. “Oh, come on!” “I suppose now’s not a good time to give you your Skoal hat?” “Your retaliation is unspeakable. For this alone, you must forgive me for my treatment of you.” “Still high-handed?” “I literally risked my neck just now to say that in front of you.”
