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April 30 - May 5, 2021
I calm my mind. I relax my body. I visualize
each of us is capable of doing amazing things far beyond what we think is possible. We control our own fates,
Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People,
listed the six ways to get people to like you.
Become genuinely interested in other people. Smile. Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. Talk in terms of the other person’s interest. Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.
the magic trick works because people see only what they think is there rather than what’s actually there.
people who are watching a magic show aren’t really there watching the magic show. They are regretting something they did yesterday or worrying about something that might happen tomorrow,
seventeenth century B.C.E., the Egyptians believed that intelligence resided in the heart.
Today we know that the brain has great plasticity and can change, adapt, and transform. It is molded by experience, repetition, and intention.
queen of spades, your card, is the Greek goddess Athena. She is the goddess of wisdom and the companion of all heroes.
if I didn’t know what I was looking for I never would have noticed.
“With her magic you can learn to get anything you want. It’s kind of like a genie in a bottle, but she’s going to introduce you to the genie in your head. Just be careful what you wish for.”
Feelings are not right or wrong. They are just feelings.”
there are nerves that connect the heart to that part of the brainstem called the medulla oblongata via the vagus nerve, how the vagus nerve had two components, and how if you increased the output of the nerve by relaxing and slowing the breath, it would stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, slowing your heart and decreasing your blood pressure.
decreasing the tone of the vagus nerve actually stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, which is what happens if you are scared or frightened—your heartbeat increases.
“There are a lot of things in life we can’t control. It’s hard, especially when you’re a child, to feel like you have control over anything. Like you can change anything. But you can control your body and you can control your mind.
he changed the world.”
the fight-or-flight response. If the brain perceives a threat, or is in fear for its survival, that part of the autonomic nervous system called the sympathetic nervous system kicks in and releases epinephrine.
Living in a state of prolonged stress has all sorts of psychological and physiological repercussions—anger, depression, anxiety, chest pain, headaches, insomnia, and a suppressed immune system.
I’ve felt that connection with others throughout my life—sometimes it’s a random person in an elevator, where you look into each other’s eyes, and for reasons you can’t explain, there is a connection, not just simply eyes meeting, but some deeper knowing, an acknowledgment of each other’s humanity and the reality of being on the same path.
Same path.. Connection
Now science acknowledges that neuroplasticity is not only a reality but an inherent part of how the brain functions. Now I know that the brain can be trained to improve one’s focus and attention and also to not respond to the ongoing dialogue in our head that distracts us from making clear and useful decisions.
“This voice in your head is judging every second of your life as either good or bad. And your mind responds to what the voice is telling you. As if it actually knew you.”
“Keep focusing on your breath. If the deejay starts talking, just stop listening and go back to focusing on your breath.”
The mind gets quiet and the pain that was there all day seems louder. It’s the same reason why our eyes can fly open at 2 A.M., and every anxiety about the future or regret about the past will play itself out in the dark of night.
She taught me the pointlessness of wishing for a different past and the futility of worrying about all of the frightening futures over which I had no control.
Repetition. Intention. The surest way to change your brain. By combining the breathing technique that Ruth had taught me with either looking at the flame of a candle or slowly repeating my mantra, things began to change.
I wasn’t going to back down. I wasn’t going to give him the power to make me afraid.
And for a second our eyes locked together and I saw him, and he knew I saw him. I saw his own pain and fear. A pain and fear that he tried to hide with his bullying.
I had stood up for myself and had stood up for a little kid who couldn’t defend himself.
wounds in our heart. We need to give them our attention so that they can heal. Otherwise the wound continues to cause us pain.
Sometimes for a very long time. We’re all going to get hurt. That’s just the way it is. But here’s the trick about the things that hurt us and cause us pain—they also serve an amazing purpose.
When our hearts are wounded that’s when they open. We grow through pain. We grow through difficult situations. That’s why you have to embrace eac...
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“The other part of opening your heart, and this is where you are going to have to really practice, is caring about yourself.”
“We all misunderstand. Each other. Ourselves. Situations. It’s a good lesson to learn—that not everything is about us. I think I need to learn that same lesson when it comes to my grandson.”
Consciously or unconsciously, we decide how we are going to allow ourselves to be treated. What will you accept? What won’t you accept? You’re going to have to choose, and you’re going to have to stand up for yourself. No one else can do it for you.”
the conversation going on in all of our heads is one that is hypercritical and negative. One that frequently causes us to react in a way that isn’t in our best interest. One that causes us to relive events over and over or to wish for things that might be or should be.
Over and over I said repeatedly, I am good, it’s not my fault, I’m a good person. It was like I was another deejay at the radio station, but everything I said was nice and comforting.
kindness mantra to myself.
am worthy. I am loved. I am cared for. I care for others. I choose only good for myself. I choose only good for others. I love myself. I love oth...
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oftentimes those who hurt people are those who hurt the most.”
Easier when I began to realize that when I was angry with someone, it was usually because I was hurting on the inside. I was angry at myself for something.
Angry at myself
I could sit with it and not blame myself or somehow think it was my fault. I could just be with it.
The heart is where we find our comfort and our safety in the darkest of places.
“Everyone knows,” he said, “compassion doesn’t arise from the brain. It comes from the heart.”
Research shows the heart to be an organ of intelligence, with its own profound influence not only from our brain but on our brain, our emotions, our reasoning, and our choices.
Stress, anxiety, chronic fear, negative thinking can all cause blood to pound into the heart with extra force. It’s the body’s equivalent of screaming “Fire!” in a crowded theater. Over and over again. Eventually, somebody is going to get trampled.
Ruth was helping me form new neural connections in my brain. It was my first experience with neuroplasticity,
Ruth was improving my ability to regulate my emotions, increasing my empathy, my social connectedness, and making me more optimistic. She changed how I perceived myself and how I perceived the world. And that changed absolutely everything. •
I had a story about who I was and what my future held.
stand up for myself and to not let others determine my value, my worth, or my potential.
