I See You

by Clare Mackintosh

Acknowledgements

The idea for I SEE YOU came – unsurprisingly – when I was on the London Underground. I watched the commuters move around me, seemingly unaware of their surroundings, making the journey they made every single day. Unlike country me, clutching my bag in anticipation of theft, these people were totally at home – and that complacency made them vulnerable. Several years later I was on a long haul flight from the UK to the US, watching the cabin crew gossip behind the galley curtain and experiencing mixed emotions about being uncontactable for so many hours. Anything could be happening back home, and I wouldn’t know it. By the time I stepped off the plane, I had the synopsis for Hostage, a locked room thriller set on the inaugural non-stop flight from London to Sydney. As I wrote Hostage, I recalled that feeling of claustrophobia I’d felt when working on I SEE YOU; that same prickle on the back of my neck as my characters realised someone was watching them. When we use public transport – be that a train or a plane – we relinquish control over our journey to someone else, and that disempowerment is rich territory for a writer. We are not traveling in the safe privacy of our tin-box cars, but with total strangers, each with their own stories. And if that’s not a good starting point for a thriller, I don’t know what is.

You do the same thing every day. You know exactly where you’re going. You’re not alone.

I receive so many messages from readers, telling me they’ve switched up their route to work since reading I SEE YOU, and I’m always glad to hear it. I was a police officer for many years, and almost every harassment or stalking case I encountered involved a victim whose daily routine was predictable. Whether it’s your Wednesday night spin class, or putting out the bins on a Friday evening, it’s terrifyingly easy for others to learn your routine. It sounds odd to say it, but I loved writing these creepy passages in I SEE YOU. Speaking directly to the reader creates such a personal connection, so when the character is a ‘baddie’ it’s deeply unsettling, which – of course – is precisely what a thriller writer wants!

Bodies are for Monday mornings, not Friday evenings, when work is a blissful three days away.

Police officers are just like the rest of us: they like their days off! There’s nothing worse than a big job coming in just as you’re about to clock off, is there?

Except I know how old she is. I know she’s forty. Because the woman in the advert is me.

I remember writing this line and grinning to myself, sitting in my tiny office in our old house. I’d had a rough year, writing-wise. My debut, I LET YOU GO, had become a New York Times bestseller and translated around the world, and you’d imagine I’d have been on cloud nine, but I found it all incredibly stressful. How on earth could I ever write anything as good as I LET YOU GOagain? I wrote my second novel, and worked on it for months, but just couldn’t make it sing. I gave up on it and stared at a blank page. When the idea for I See You arrived I felt a shot of adrenaline I hadn’t felt since writing I LET YOU GO. I sat at my computer and wrote this chapter and, instantly, the pressure I’d been feeling disappeared. Here it was: here was my second novel.

I see you. But you don’t see me. You’re engrossed in your book; a paperback cover with a girl in a red dress. I can’t see the title but it doesn’t matter; they’re all the same. If it isn’t boy meets girl, it’s boy stalks girl. Boy kills girl. The irony isn’t lost on me.

There are too many books where dead or abused women provide the entertainment, and there are regular calls for writers to move away from such tropes. But here’s the thing: there are too many situations in real life where women are killed or abused. It is a writer’s job to hold a mirror up to society, and if we paper over reality we are doing an injustice to the many, many women who live in fear.

Variety is important. Even the finest steak becomes dull when you eat it all the time.

It’s so interesting seeing passages out of context. If you saw this line on its own, without reading the book, you might find yourself nodding along. Yes, absolutely – variety is indeed important. But if you’ve read I SEE YOU, and you know that this is the voice of someone who is hand-selecting their victims, it sends a shiver down your spine.

Graham Hallow comes from the breed of men who inflate their egos by belittling the people around him.

I bet you know someone like Graham Hallow! It’s not just men, actually, there are lots of people who are fundamentally insecure, and instead of working on their own confidence, they undermine everyone else’s. They’re horrible bullies and if you work or live with one it can make your life a misery.

It isn’t the money that matters but the kindness. And this way I give a little kindness every day.

These little insights are less about plot (although in this case, the homeless girl does play a part later on!) and more about getting to know characters. Small acts tell us a lot about how people think. Are you the sort of person who would give ten pounds or dollars to a homeless person? If so, would you give it one go, feeling the glow of generosity? Or would you say hello to them every day, as Zoe does, dropping a pound/dollar or two into their guitar case?

Routine is comforting to you. It’s familiar, reassuring. Routine makes you feel safe. Routine will kill you.

Some people are adrenaline junkies and thrive on spontaneity, but most of us like to know what we’re doing from one day to the next. We like the familiarity of seeing the same faces on our way to work, or getting our newspaper from the same stand. We like feeling like a ‘local’ when the barista knows how we want our coffee. As I mention in an early comment, predictability makes us vulnerable, but let’s keep things in perspective: I SEE YOUis fiction!

Kelly thought of all the crime prevention initiatives she’d seen rolled out over her nine years in the job. Poster campaigns, leaflet drops, attack alarms, education programmes … Yet it was far simpler than that; they just had to listen to victims. Believe them.

I think, in many ways, I was a very bad police officer. I was less interested in detection statistics and arrest rates, and far more interested in supporting victims and understanding how a crime had come to pass. Kelly’s relationship with her sister is interesting, because it forces Kelly to do her job in a different way. Not every victim of crime wants the same outcome, but they all want to be believed.

‘So President Kennedy visits NASA and gets chatting to one of the cleaners. He asks him what his job is, and without missing a beat, the cleaner tells him, “I’m helping to put a man on the moon, Mr President.” Nick’s theory is that if the whole Murder Investigation Team comes to briefings, including the cleaners, we can’t miss anything.’

This is a true story! At least, it’s one of those stories told so many times it’s accepted as truth. I. remember being told it when I was a young detective, seconded to Major Crime for a murder investigation. I was so junior I was hesitant about even attending the briefing, and the grizzled cop I was working with told me this story. It’s a pretty good rule for life in general, I think: don’t assume only people in power hold the answers.

Hundreds of thousands of you, doing the same thing every day. I see you, but you don’t see me. Until I want you to.

I’m often asked whether I’d write a sequel to I SEE YOU, because (and I don’t think this is a spoiler) the ending isn’t neatly wrapped up. But if you’ve read my other books, you’ll know there’s always an extra twist, or a question in those final pages, so I thought I’d explain why I do that. Life isn’t neat and tidy, particularly when crimes have been committed. The victims – or their families – live with the ramifications of what’s happened; police officers cope with sleepless nights or trauma from the horrors they’ve seen. There’s no ‘the end’ for the perpetrators, either: perhaps they’re adjusting to prison life, or on the run, looking over their shoulder. Perhaps they’re struggling to come to terms with what they’ve done. And, of course, in the case of organised crime, there’s always another member of the gang ready to pick up the reins. Tying everything up too neatly in my thrillers wouldn’t be a true reflection of the world as I know it, from my experience in the police. Also: I do love to make your jaw drop open, just when you think I’ve finished…

Clare Mackintosh

I’ve loved revisiting I SEE YOUand thinking about this passages of text. I think that if you enjoyed See You, you’ll enjoy HOSTAGE, which shares themes of claustrophobia and those feelings of being watched. The story follows Mina, a flight attendant on board the first ever non-stop flight from London to Sydney. A few hours into the journey, Mina receives an anonymous threat from someone onboard - someone who knows exactly how to make her comply with their demands. What should she do? What does she do? What would you do? https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56628286-hostage