The Fireman

by Joe Hill

Can’t you expand your range a little? Goddamn bloody arsefoam. Daddy drilling Mommy on the kitchen table. That sort of thing. Americans curse without any imagination at all.”

“He’s not my ex. We’re not divorced.” “You are now. By the power vested in me.” “What power vested in you?” “You know how captains of ships can marry people? Little-known fact, firemen can divorce people as well. Come on, up with you.”

“First time I ever joint the Chorus,” Don Lewiston said, “I forgot the face of my father,

“You just missed a perfectly good opportunity to toast an awful Coldplay T-shirt. If I ever spontaneously combust, I hope I’m holding a whole stack of their CDs.”