Unless we make sure that both sides are aware of their own as well as each other’s needs, it will be hard for us to succeed when we stick our nose in other people’s business. We are likely to get caught up in scarcity thinking—seeing only the importance of our own needs being met. When scarcity thinking then gets mixed with right-and-wrong thinking, any of us can become militant and violent, and blinded to even the most obvious solutions. At that point, the conflict seems unresolvable—and it will be if we don’t connect with the other person by first offering empathy without focusing on our own
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